Now and Then
by Jacqueline King
Summary: Now Roxas wishes things had stayed the same as they'd been back Then... Before the music died. AU. Full Summary Inside. Roxas/Riku
1. The Day the Music Died

**Author's Ramble:** Hey everyone! This is the new story I'm working on and finally submitting I feel like I need some positive feed back. But you all probably want a summary (though I have to vague it up a bit so you discover some things for yourself)!

**Summary:**

Now and Then follows Roxas, each chapter alternating between his experience at the Oldtown Conservatory and his present situation where his is trying to pick up the pieces of the life that changed so much during his stay there. After five years of trying to forget everything that had ever happened to him there, Roxas finally decides its time to set things straight and sets out to find Riku after thinking he'd left him without a word. But so much more had happened at the Conservatory than Roxas had ever realized, and soon he may find he wished he'd never found out...  
Odd chapters take place in the present time, while even chapters take place five years ago during Roxas' stay at the Conservatory.

**Disclaimers:** **Will Contain Yaoi, Violence, Rape, Stalking, and Possibly Drug Use in further chapters.** Just letting y'all be prepared.  
Also, I do not own: Kingdom Hearts,_ When I Go Down_, or the amazing band Relient K.

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_**I've thrown away the hope I had in friendships**_

_**I've thrown away so many things that could have been much more**_

_**I've thrown away the secret to find an end to this**_

_**And I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored**_

_**But that's not the way it works . . .**_

_**No that's not the way it works . . .**_

_**- When I Go Down, Relient K**_

Present Time

The place had once been alive with music and art. Its tall, alabaster halls had once held refuge to all the artists, the dreamers, the writers, the musicians, and the singers. Now it lay abandoned, a vacant reminder on the corner of Sixth Street in Oldtown that sometimes dreams don't come true. At the wrought-iron gate that wrapped itself around the plot of weed-infested ground the old building still claimed, a young man stared up at the crooked tower that held itself over the rest of the structure. It held the gothic style that had been discarded quickly in the usually sunny town, showing its true age. It was the failed experiment of architecture, and its eventual use turned out to be a failed experiment too. The blonde haired man who stood on the sidewalk within the bell tower's shadow casting ominously over him couldn't be past twenty, but his eyes showed he'd seen more than most of his age. To any other passer-by on the Oldtown street the haunting premises was just another old church that had never been renovated to fit the times, but to the blonde with his sad, cerulean eyes it was something much more.

It was the Oldtown Conservatory of Music and the Arts, and it had been empty for almost five years now, though it felt like a lifetime. There were so many things that had been left unsaid, so many promises that had not been kept. Everyone had thought that music and art had been their unspoken promise, that soon it would tell itself.

"Why didn't we see what we had?" he whispered as the mid October breeze picked up, sending dead leaves scattering over the walk. He tightened his thin white jacket closer to his gangly frame. Age had not been kind to his soul, but he was still so young. The boy was just growing into his height, and his face was more angular than what it had been four and a half years ago. The last time he stood here, in front of the place he'd called his only home he'd still been filled with premature hope and optimism. He traced his numb fingertips over the iron again, remembering running here with his friends. The memories came back in painful stabs as he touched the handle of the gate. He lifted, and despite the protest of the rusted iron, the latch allowed him passage into the crumbling gardens. His eyes traced where the path used to lead to the fountain where students used to lean on and dip their feet in during the late afternoon. It stood dry and cracked where it had always been. The boy turned his back to it. This wasn't the time for reminiscing. He'd come here for a reason, even if he swore to never come back.

He told himself as he neared the front doors that this was important. That it could still be there. But as he pushed past the overgrown hedges and ivy that snaked over the grown and up the stone steps, he knew that he'd come here just to see if maybe, by chance, someone else had came for a memory. He stopped in front of the heavy wooden doors, smoothed with time, and gazed at the padlock locking the two handles together.

Something bubbled within the young man that he had not felt in a long time. He'd spent those years numb, surviving, as he needed and loosing all those feelings that had come on so strong in his early youth. Now, anger, frustration, sorrow all surfaced and boiled over in his heart as he vainly yanked at the old brass handle. When this didn't work, he found himself kicking the door with as much strength as he possibly could.

_Thud! _

He'd lost everything within those walls.

_Thud!_

He'd gained everything within those rooms.

_Thud!_

"Roxas!"

The blonde froze instantly, his sneaker poised and ready for another beating against the door. He knew that voice.

"Roxas, what are you doing here?"

Slowly, the boy, Roxas, glanced over his shoulder to see if it was really who he thought it was speaking to him.

"M-Marluxia?" stuttered Roxas who took in the sight of the pink haired gardener. He was wearing a dark coat and a cap over his head that hardly contained the mass amounts of pink locks spilling out from underneath. He looked thinner than when Roxas had last seen him here at the conservatory. Obviously he'd been put out of a job when the place closed, but Roxas had always hoped that Marluxia would stay around to take care of the place, even when everyone else, including him, who loved it had left. Roxas turned around completely, making the older man smile slightly at his dumbfounded look.

"You thought this place would be empty, huh?" Marluxia chuckled. His expression, however, fell as he stared up at the once-stately conservatory. "You're not wrong."

The thin shred of hope that had been building up in the younger boy's heart vanished in a puff of smoke.

"They fired you then," Roxas muttered. It wasn't a question.

"It's sort of a given when your place of employment is shut down. I work at the botanical gardens outside of town, now… but I suppose you didn't come here to catch up with the ex-groundskeeper."

"No," Roxas sighed, not unkindly.

"Would you like to go inside?"

"But it's locked…"

Marluxia gave a smile, and shrugged the bag he'd been carrying over his shoulder off and rummaged through it a moment. He pulled out a ring of keys and gave a small smile at the look of astonishment on the young boy's face. He flipped a piece of hair out of his eyes before singling out a certain small key and held it out for Roxas to take. "They never bothered to have me return my keys. I kept them thinking someday, maybe one of you artists would come back wanting to remember once more. I should have guessed it'd have been you, Roxas."

Roxas gave a weak smile, his eyes still wide with the reality that he was actually going to go back inside. He was actually going to have a chance to find it… He took the key, hoping Marluxia didn't see the tremble in his hands as he undid the rusty padlock on the door. It creaked open with a groaning protest. The rush of cold air that met the two as they stood at the doorstep of the empty building warned them of the danger that lied in picking up dead memories. The truth could be very cold.

Roxas took a deep breath and eyed the rose haired gardener. He didn't seem as if he were going to be leaving anytime soon. Despite what the young man had been telling himself before he came back to the conservatory, he knew he'd never be able to go inside without someone else with him. With a silent nod from the older man, Roxas stepped inside, holding his jacket tightly around his arms as he stumbled into the dark. The fading light that came through the musty stained glass windows and broken bay windows were hardly enough to properly see through the hallway that was now crowded with old furniture that no one ever bothered to remove. White sheets covered each piece of furnishing, making Roxas feel as if he were walking among ghosts in the semidarkness. He saw music stands covered in sticky cobwebs near where Leon used to hold his jazz ensembles in the once-bright east-facing studio. As he continued down the way, Marluxia following closely behind in utter silence, Roxas felt memories he didn't even realize he had resurfacing. The computer lounge where Aireth had taught her contemporary writing classes was vacant of any machines, but there were a few holey, deflated beanbags and loose pieces of paper that lay silently in their tomb. Roxas shivered, remembering the person he missed the most loving to read in there…

At the end of the hall before the stairwell that lead up to the dormitories was the room that Roxas knew he'd have the worse time seeing again. The door had fallen off its hinges, and the choir room stretched before the blonde in stony silence. The west-facing studio allowed the fading light of day to come in through a dirty, wide window that held many cracks in it now that time had had its toll. The light danced and darted around the dust that seemed to never stop circulating through the room, though nothing, not even Roxas, disturbed its slumber. He stood in the doorway, not sure if he could go inside. The risers and high-backed chairs still all stood in straight rows with their backs to the large window. Roxas could still feel the warm sun bathing on his back as he sang with the chorus, their voices rising and yearning to connect in a way no one could do by simply speaking.

But the hardest sight to endure was the grand piano standing in the center of the room, a white sheet covering only half of it, exposing the ivory and ebony keys. Roxas clutched his heart, his fingers knotting his dark shirt tightly as he tried to contain the terrible feeling threatening to claw its way out of his being. He didn't realize that tears were running down his face until Marluxia put a hand on his shoulder. The simple act snapped Roxas back to his senses and the silent tears running down his face were quickly wiped away by his jacket sleeve.

"S-Sorry," the young blonde mumbled weakly, his cerulean eyes down cast. He couldn't stand looking at that room any more. Out of all of the rooms in this place, this one hurt the most.

"S'all right, Roxas," was all Marluxia said before adding softly, "Would you like me to leave?"

"No," Roxas gasped. Realizing his answer had been too fast, he muttered, "I don't know if I'll be able to bring myself to do what I'd come here for if I do it alone."

"All right."

"Thank you, Marluxia."

And without another word, Roxas turned a cold shoulder to the even icier room and headed up the narrow staircases to the dormitories up above. The hallway on the second floor was narrow, and gave off the feeling of once having been the cramped quarters of a convent of nuns back when it was a church. All the doors were shut here, and they didn't seem like they were ever going to open again. Roxas didn't let himself think about all of the people who used to use these rooms over that one eventful year but just concentrated on the dorm he was looking for. The blonde came to a door that had the old bronze number thirteen upon it and paused. He took the handle and turned, finding that it opened, if not a bit stubbornly. The lock seemed to have given out, as if someone had messed with it enough to make it simply no longer lock. Roxas didn't notice anything but the room he entered, the room he'd lived in for those long months. But they had never been long enough. The old, low bed that squeaked when you sat on it was in the same corner he always remembered, a window separating the other bed his roommate had used. The mattresses appeared to be housing for a few families of mice, and the once warm yellow paint was chipping badly and gave off the feeling of dried mustard rather than rays of sunshine. Roxas stepped inside hesitantly, the oak floorboards below his sneakers creaking like they always had.

Marluxia waited outside, understanding he wasn't needed here. Roxas moved towards his bed and knelt down onto his knees. He fumbled in his cargo pant's pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper that was crinkled and yellowed with age. The fold lines appeared to be threatening to rip as he gingerly opened it. He stared down at the words that he'd memorized by now, reassured by that familiar elegant handwriting.

_**Roxas—**_

_**I know that when you find this, you're going to hate me. I'm sorry I left without a proper good bye. I've never been too good with those. They're just too messy. But I don't want to say good-bye to you forever. I just needed some space from everyone after all that's happened. I can't stay here any more Roxas. Remember what you told me? About the music always being a part of you, reminding you why you were here, why you kept going even though so much bad stuff's happening? My music's gone. I need to move on. I left you something under your bed before I left. Please don't hate me.**_

_**I love you.**_

_**--Riku **_

He'd gotten the note too late. He never got to say good-bye to Riku. The name was so painful in his heart, here in this place. With a deep breath that he held in, Roxas leaned down and felt around the dusty floor beneath the cot and found what he prayed was truly there. He pulled out a leather bound book with trembling hands, staring down at it in awe. It was beautiful brown leather that felt slightly oily under his hands that was just soft enough. The pages within it all looked rather fresh for being trapped in a drafty church for the past five years. Roxas stood up slowly and undid the string. He let the book open easily into his hands onto the first page, expecting another glimpse to the past, another glimpse of Riku.

But as he stared down at the page expectantly, a new feeling washed over him. It felt like an icy dose of numbness as his brain refused to register what he saw.

It was empty.

Fervently, Roxas began to roughly flip through the pages, finding nothing, towards the end he found himself all but tearing the pages out in dismay. "No," he whispered, eyes wide and frantic. "No. No! No, no, no!"

The book fell from his hands as he clutched at his spiky hair, pulling hard but feeling no pain. This had been his last hope. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Riku all this time; only to find out that Riku had really just left him with nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The young man fell to his knees again; hot burning tears sliding down his face as he buried it in his hands. How could he have done this to himself? Slowly bringing his head up, he blinked as he saw a piece of paper on the floor that looked like it had fallen out of something…

Anxiously, Roxas picked it up and turned it over to find another message that made his heart stop.

_**Roxas--**_

_**Get your stuff and meet me at the station. Bring this book. It's important. You didn't honestly think I would leave without you, did you? We can ride the train anywhere. We can do anything. **_

_**We can find the music somewhere else. **_

_**Please come, Roxas. I've never felt tied to someone the way I do to you. Be there by noon. Train leaves five minutes past.**_

_**Yours Always,**_

_**Riku**_

With an angry cry, Roxas recklessly smashed his fist against the wall, sending dust and spider webs to fall down upon him as he tried to get the anger he felt towards his own stupidity out. Why had he been so stupid?

The door slowly creaked open once more, and Marluxia walked forward and knelt beside Roxas and gently took his arm. "Roxas," he said soothingly. "Roxas… shh… You have to let go. This was five years ago. That's why you came here, right? You need to just let it go…"

Roxas took a deep breath, choking on a dry sob that was forming in his throat. How could he just give this up? Music was his life, and if he wanted to give up what happened five years ago, it'd be just like giving up music.

But as Marluxia got the now utterly silent blonde out of the conservatory and back walking down the street as he talked about Roxas staying with the gardener for a while, Roxas realized something.

He'd given up the music a long time ago.


	2. This Place is Full of Artists

**Author's Ramble: **Yay! Chapter two! I wanted to have a chapter in the present and in the past before I started submiting this, so I finally finished this part. More will be up soon. Thanks for reading, and please review!

**Disclaimers:** **Will Contain Yaoi, Violence, Rape, Stalking, and Possibly Drug Use in further chapters. **Ye be warned  
Also, I do not own: Kingdom Hearts, _Nature Boy_, or Ella Fitzgerald beautiful version of said song.

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_There was a boy . . ._

_A very strange Enchanted boy_

_They say he wandered Very far, very far_

_Over land and sea A little shy and sad of eye_

_But very wise was he . . ._

_- Nature Boy, Ella Fitzgerald _

Five Years Ago

It wasn't uncommon to see students like Roxas making their way down Sixth Street with a suitcase filled with luggage heading towards the towering building on its corner of Sixth and Cherry Street. The mid-August sun beat down on the back of the spiky haired blonde's neck as he kept his cerulean eyes downcast. He walked on by other students of the conservatory without a word. They were all laughing, heading off towards the beach perhaps, to have a bit of a party before classes started up in two days. But the newcomer to the town had no intentions of a wild time on the coast. He planned nothing but to stay locked up in his dorm until the semester began and then he wouldn't have to worry about fringing a social life.

Roxas took a deep breath as he finally allowed his eyes to travel off of the concrete and onto the spectacular building before him. Its handsome brick exterior was a deep, rustic red that was only further warmed by the afternoon sun. There was a cobblestone path that twisted its way from the sidewalk, past a set of wrought-iron gates and up to the marble steps of the Oldtown Conservatory of Music and the Arts. Roxas stood at the edge of this, staring up at the high bell tower and the stained-glass windows depicting scenes from a religion he'd given up not too long ago. His narrow shoulders forward and slumped, he pulled open the gate and stepped into the courtyard where a few more lax students were stretched out on the soft, well-kept grounds. The path broke off to a fountain at the side of the building. A girl in a white summer dress sat at the edge of the bubbling fountain, her bare feet dipped within it as she idly fiddled with the flute in her hands. She placed the elegant woodwind to her lips and soon the courtyard was filled with a sweet melody played preciously on the delicate instrument.

Roxas stared for a moment, amazed by the grace and care of such an instrument. He shook himself from his stare after a moment, realizing that if the girl would open her eyes she'd be staring right back at him. And eye contact was not something the young singer wanted to share with anyone here. Taking a deep breath and turning his head towards the doors again, Roxas made his way up. He pulled with one hand, the other trying to hold up his luggage. His skinny arms were having a hard time holding his own suitcase, let alone trying to pry open the ancient door.

"Here, let me help you," came a soft and quiet voice. Roxas looked around to see a man waiting patiently behind him. He was of slim, but slightly muscled build, and held a very artistic air about him without being arrogant. His soft, azure eyes assured Roxas that he wasn't a threat, though the fear was still gripped in the jittery boy's stomach at being addressed.

Roxas didn't say a word, just shifted aside with his luggage awkwardly still kept in one hand. The blonde haired man pulled the door open, but not as easily as Roxas had been expecting him to. "There you are," the man said, flashing Roxas a caring smile as he shuffled into the long, echoing hall. His helper quickly followed him into the alabaster corridor. The place was just as stunning on the inside as the out, with its wooden floors and tall ceilings. There were oak doors evenly spaced down the length of the hall, displaying small signs explaining which room belonged to what class.

At this time, Roxas realized that he was supposed to be polite and thank the man, even if every once of his body refused to open his clamped jaw. "Thank you," he said tightly, finally able to get his mouth to form the words.

The older man just smiled and asked, "Do you need to find your room?"

"Um…" Roxas bit his lip subconsciously as he pulled the folded piece of paper out of his sweatshirt pocket. He'd worn the baggiest clothing he owned, despite the fact it was still summer weather outside. He glanced down at the paper. "Boy's sophomore dorms… building one… room thirteen…" he mumbled.

"We don't have much space around here, so your dorm's above the class rooms here. There's a staircase at the end of the hall. You'll be able to find your room up there," the helpful man provided with another dazzling smile. "Hope you get settled well."

"Thanks," Roxas muttered before he shuffled down the long hallway, his eyes watchful. The place was tall and beautiful, and had the feeling that music should always be filled with it. A few doors were open showing art studios with paintings drying in the sun, or a practice room where an abandoned cello waited patiently for its owner to return to it after the summer. At the stairs, Roxas sighed and hoisted his luggage over one shoulder and began the climb up the narrow stairs.

There were more signs of life up in the dorm hall. A few students were passing a beach ball back and forth down the hallway, laughing as they ran into the walls, unable to coordinate well in the narrow place. Roxas slipped past them, till he found the door that read thirteen on its worn surface. Just as he was about to fumble for the key, the door swung open with a very disgruntled boy standing in the doorway.

Roxas blinked, startled as he stared at the blue haired sophomore. His hair hung in his eyes and his expression looked rather bleak. "Oh," he said, his voice detached. "You must be my roommate."

Roxas nodded and the sullen looking teen allowed him in. The room was painted yellow, making it feel warm and summer like. Roxas took this as one of the reasons his roommate wasn't too happy. The room was simple, with a window separating each bed and a bedside table beneath said window. Across from the beds, on either side of the door was a desk and on the wall beside each desk was a small armoire for clothing.

"I'm Zexion," the gloomy boy sighed. He went to the right cot where a suitcase rested. There was already some evidence that Zexion was putting his mark on the room. A large stack of books obscured his armoire from view and he was unloading his blankets and sheets which all appeared to be black.

_He's going to make his half of the room look like a bumblebee… _Roxas thought, unable to hide a small smirk. Roxas turned to the left and threw his luggage down before shuffling over to the window to peer out into the courtyard. Bellow him he could see the back of the conservatory. Besides a beautiful garden, the paths lead to three other buildings, most likely the other dorms.

"Hello?"

Roxas jumped, realizing that Zexion had been speaking to him. "What?" he asked, confused.

"I asked you what's your name and what you're hear for. Obviously it's not listening skills."

"Oh. I'm Roxas…" The blonde trailed off, not really wanting to say why he was there. He had hoped that Zexion would have left him alone, seeing as he looked very unhappy to be in the bright and sunshiny room. Zexion crossed his arms over his chest, and quirked an eyebrow at Roxas before shrugging and turning back to his things. He pulled out a violin case from beneath his bags and slipped it underneath the bed for storage. Roxas tilted his head to the side and sat down on his squeaky cot. He could imagine Zexion bent over slightly, the small stringed interment cradled against his cheek and shoulder. It seemed very suiting to him.

Zexion didn't take long unloading his things (all either books or the color black) and soon left the room, not even bothering to say goodbye to Roxas, who had just started to finally unload his meager possessions. He'd been staring out the window at the clouds, not wanting to think about the coming day he'd have to find something to do.

Exhaling with a flip of his hair, the blonde pulled out his clothes and hung them neatly in his armoire, collected his books for his required courses and placed them in order on his desk, put his plain, light blue sheets and blankets on his bed and stuffed his bag under the bed after pulling out a small binder filled with sheet music. The busywork done, Roxas debated whether or not he should just crawl into bed and lie there for the remainder of the evening, or head out and explore the grounds.

Eventually he decided on the later. After sitting on a train for four hours, he wasn't sure if he would be able to sit still until he fell asleep.

Binder still in hand, the blonde headed out of his room with his key in hand. No one was left in the hallway now, probably all eating an early supper in the dining hall. Instead of following the flow of students after he came downstairs, Roxas started to peer his head into the different classrooms. The first one after the stairs had its door partly open and appeared unoccupied, so Roxas slipped in quietly. Inside was a room with risers against its great bay window that viewed the edge of the garden he'd glimpsed from his window. Alongside the risers were three rows of high backed chairs, all angled towards the grand piano in the center of the room. Awestruck, Roxas crept forward, making sure that no one else was around before he set down the binder on the piano bench and sat beside it. His nimble fingers touched the keys hesitantly, playing c first, to test the sound.

It rang out just as beautifully as he'd imagined it would. He closed his eyes, his whole body relaxing for the first time that day. The world didn't matter from this vantage point in front of a piano, even if he couldn't play that well. It was just a tool. Roxas adjusted his fingers slightly, and played the first cord of one of the only songs he knew how to play on the piano. His mouth twitched into a smile as he played through the first verse without words, then began again and added his soft voice to the beautiful melody.

"_Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly_," he sang, his voice quiet at first, but as he continued into one of his favorite songs, unconsciously he began to raise his voice. "_All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise…_"

"_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_

_Take these sunken eyes and learn to see_

_All your life_

_You were only waiting for this moment to be free._

_Blackbird fly, blackbird fly_

_Into the light of the dark black night._

_Blackbird fly, blackbird fly_

_Into the light of the dark black night._

Roxas played through the bridge; about to open his mouth for the ending when another voice floated over to him and spoke the last line, "You were only waiting for this moment to arise…"

Instantly, the blonde ceased his playing and spun around on the bench much too quickly to look at all like a normal, functional person should. Cursing his awkwardness, Roxas stared at the intruder and found that his heart was doing a very strange flutter at the sight of the boy before him.

His eyes caught him first, their bright aqua color standing out from him behind shaggy bangs of unusually silver colored hair. They looked just like the clear, shallow ocean on a bright summer's day. His long silver hair that framed his heart shaped face was kept back slightly in a rubber band that was obviously failing at its job. His stance and expression was amused, an eyebrow quirked charmingly as he walked towards the piano casually, the worn books in his arms dropping down to be held up with one arm against his hip. Roxas quickly looked away, not wanting to make any more eye contact and certainly not wanting to keep thinking about this boy who had found him singing on his own.

No one heard him sing without the rest of the chorus.

"A brilliant song, really," the silver haired boy commented, leaning against the piano and looking down at Roxas who was focusing on his shoes. "It obviously means something to do you, right?" The older boy glanced at the still Roxas, watching him with eyes searching for an answer.

Roxas just blushed and stood up from the piano. "Sorry, I shouldn't be here," he mumbled hastily and started to walk towards the door. A hand reached out and grabbed his forearm.

A cold fear gripped at Roxas deep within his chest and made him feel numb all over. "Don't worry, it's fine, I'm sure Cloud wouldn't mind you playing his piano," the silver haired boy insisted. He let go of Roxas gently, but had already pulled him back so he was face to face with him. "Just relax a bit. Sides, I want to hear you again."

Roxas tried to relax his jaw at least, so maybe the pinched look in his face could go away, but he found himself very much rooted to the spot with no control over the greater majority of his limbs. _Hear… me… again? _The blonde thought, not sure if he should be flattered or running out the door to the safety of being alone and having no questions asked of him or expectations to meet.

But if he could just ignore the boy whose eyes were so sparkling and watchful, and just look at those stark black and white keys…

He sat down at the piano again, aware that his visitor went to stand at the side of the piano and gently set his books on top of its sleek surface. He rolled up the sleeves of his periwinkle-blue collared shirt and leaned his elbows against the piano and waited.

Roxas just bent his head down and began to play Blackbird from the beginning and played through till the end, singing with all his soul as if there was no one staring at him as he made his music. It was easiest when he closed his eyes. And it was worth someone seeing him; the release the song gave him as refreshing as a swim on a hot day.

"_You were only waiting for this moment to arrive_," Roxas sang the last line, played the last cord with his long fingers and slowly opened his eyes to see his audience staring at him as if he were a remarkable painting found at the very back of the museum, abandoned and forgotten, but beautiful nonetheless. He gave a slow smile and took up his books.

"My name's Riku."

"Roxas."

And for the first time in a long while, Roxas wasn't afraid that he'd begun to let someone into his heart.


	3. With a Little Help from My Friends

**Author's Ramble: **Hey everybody! Chapter 3! Yay! Things are starting to get rolling, though they probably still don't make much sense. Next chapter's in the past.  
Oh, and** Thanks to: babybluefish**, **namikun masaki **and** xXAudreyAtrophyXx** for putting me on their favorites/alerts, and special thanks goes to the **Deep Dive: A RikuRokuRiku Archive **for putting it in their aweseme C2. (You should all subscribe if you enjoy this story. It's a great archive of Riku/Roxas fics!  
But despite all this lovely stuff, I would still loved it if you reviewed! I like to know what you all think, it makes me want to write.

**Disclaimers:** Standard disclaimers apply. Also, I don't own The Show Must Go On, or the rock legend that is Queen.

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_Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance . . ._

_Another heartache, another failed romance . . . _

_On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?_

_I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now_

_I'll soon be turning, round the corner now_

_Outside the dawn is breaking . . . _

_But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free . . . _

_- The Show Must Go On, Queen_

Present Time

Roxas stared down at his bowl of tomato soup, eyes blank and lifeless. He twirled his spoon around in the creamy liquid, not really seeing what he was doing. He sat at Marluxia's kitchen table, among the environmentally friendly appliances and bamboo furnishings. Marluxia sat in the living room adjacent to the Green kitchenette. He held a watering can and was fretting about his window gardens. Among his many wild flowers that he would later replant in the spring up on his apartment's roof were just herbs and mint, sage and rosemary. The whole apartment was left humid, warm and constantly fragrant with one bloom or another.

Roxas sighed loudly as Marluxia poked his head into the kitchen to refill his watering can. "Hey," he said in mock offense. "If you're going to just stare at it, I won't keep making you soup from my homemade tomato paste." It was amazing how he could sound as if he were flirting without even trying. _It's the pink, _Roxas concluded. _And the rose petals he keeps everywhere in this house… _

Roxas blinked up at the pink haired gardener and gave a weak smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Sorry, Marluxia," he muttered.

"You haven't eaten more than a box of crackers since I dragged you here last week."

"Eh."

The teasing in Marluxia's voice faded with his next words. "This isn't like the you I knew back then. And for God's sake I hardly knew you when we were going to school."

"Well, technically you weren't going to school," Roxas countered, slipping off his chair and walking over to the window to watch the wind pick up and blow the dead leaves around the street. He never remembered Oldtown being so windy. All he could remember was watery sunshine and cool autumn evenings before the snow came… He wanted to stop remembering. It was getting to be unbearable, that gnawing at his mind as he remembered that he walked down these streets, that he'd gone to that shop…

"All right, you have a point. I was just gardening to pay for college, which, it seems has worked out for me, huh?" Marluxia sighed and turned off the tap water and came beside the younger blonde. He stared out at the desolate street he lived on, by now used to the sight of crumbling brick and rusty metal trashcans. As it was, he wasn't exactly paid top dollar to take care of plants at the botanical gardens just east of the city. Marluxia began watering the batch of plants underneath the window Roxas was still gazing out, his eyes all the more vacant. He hardly registered things anymore. It was as if everything was just a copy of what he'd once known, and this copy was a rather disturbing replica.

"Roxas."

"Huh, what?" It was so easy to tune out the world around him.

"I said, what did you honestly expect to find when you came back here? Everybody waiting on the doorstep of the Conservatory to welcome you back?"

Roxas' heart felt like it was slowly bleeding out into all his other organs. He turned away from the window and stomped towards the tiny guest bedroom Marluxia was able to spare for him. He didn't want to listen to Marluxia's voice of reason. He closed the door hard and sat down on the hard mattress of his mini bedroom (which had a small bowl of rose petals on the beside table, making Roxas want to roll his eyes a bit). He knew he couldn't stay here forever, he knew he couldn't keep bumming off of Marluxia. It wasn't right, and he shouldn't even be there to begin with. But what else could he do? He had never thought what his next step was going to be after he came to Oldtown. He'd quit his job, used his savings to buy a ticket, and insured that his landlord wasn't going to let him back in if he ever found a way back home. Considering he hadn't paid rent for two months, he guessed all his furniture was going to be taken to compensate for the expense. So there was no reason to go back, and no reason to stay.

_Unless… _

No. He had to figure out how to start living again. Without living in the past.

_But the whole point was to tie up loose ends… _

No. He had to get a job. He had to get a proper place to live. He had to get a life.

_But I haven't solved anything yet. If I did… I could…_

Well, maybe.

Roxas opened the door to his bedroom quietly before slipping into the bathroom. He flipped on the light and stared at his refection in the mirror. There he saw two very sad looking azure eyes that didn't seem to belong to him anymore. He bent down and turned the faucet, washing his face to try and clear his head. He hated having those mental battles.

_I'm sick of being numb and hollow. _

It was decided then. He turned off the water and toweled his face dry and stared into the dirty mirror again. There was a light in his eyes now, not the one that Riku had once told him made his heart skip a beat, but a light of determination. He had to do this, and afterwards, he'd pick his life back up. Roxas refused to live another year in life looking back.

In the living room, Marluxia was reading a book, sitting on the low couch and seemed to be waiting for Roxas. The blonde sat down next to him quietly and glanced at his hands rested on his knees.

Not looking up, Marluxia flipped the page and said airily, "So. You figure out what you're here for?"

"Yep."

"Anyway I can help?"

"Got a phone book?"

Three old copies of Oldtown Yellow Pages, a bus ride, and a cab later (not to mention a two block walk because he couldn't afford any longer in the cab), Roxas found himself at a neat array of small houses, all well kept and quaint. For a second he was sure that he had the wrong address. The blue house with the crab apple tree in the front yard and a small bird fountain couldn't possibly be where his old headmaster lived.

But another glance at the pen scrawled over his palm told him that this was it. Squall Leonhart. 2345 Bastion Street. With a deep breath he headed up the driveway. The tiny garage was open and showed a gleaming, black motorcycle resting like a sleeping giant. That was much more appropriate for Squall. Roxas went to the front door and knocked after just a moment's hesitation. He probably should have called ahead, but he didn't know what to say over a phone.

Sides, Marluxia didn't seem to think it'd be such a good idea. Squall was never a phone person.

Roxas waited, thinking for a moment that he wasn't home. Just as he was about to walk away, he heard someone from inside call out, "Coming." His heart felt as if it were coming up into his throat as the door swung open and through the screen door Roxas saw Squall for the first time in five years.

He'd aged, and not so well. His eyes looked tired and puffy, dark circles lining underneath each stormy grey eye. His chestnut hair was longer, and not as well kept as it had been. And then there was his scar, a silent and constant reminder of that day…

It took Squall a moment to realize who he was looking at through the screen door. For a moment, he'd taken a step back, eyes wide with disbelief. Then his expression relaxed, then turned to confusion.

Roxas knew he'd been mistaken as someone else. But, considering that someone else was dead, Squall was able to calm himself down quick enough.

"Roxas…" he muttered, his hand reaching up to rub at that a scar. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Um…"

_Good question. _

Squall laughed at the dumbfounded look on Roxas' face. He pushed open the screen and beckoned him in. His laugh wasn't like it used to be, it seemed much more forced now. Roxas didn't doubt it was in part because of his presence. He probably brought on a lot of painful memories for Squall. Inside the square little house, it was a lot more modern than Roxas had been expecting, but it was very empty. It seemed that Squall had bought the place expecting it to be for two, not for one lonely man in his early thirties. Squall motioned towards the miniscule table in the kitchen that was just to the right of the entrance. Roxas took a seat and watched his old headmaster thoughtfully. He'd never been one to ask too many questions, but the blonde knew they'd be coming soon enough. After all, his whole reason for bothering the dark haired man was for a bit of Q and A. Squall put a pot of tea on his stove, pulled out two mugs and a cup full of sugar and placed them on the rickety kitchen table. He sat down across from the blond in the only remaining chair. He propped his elbows and rested his face on a fist, his eyes narrowed slightly in thought. Roxas pictured him trying to read his mind.

"I'm going to take a guess. You don't want me asking what you've been up to these past few years. You also respect that I don't really want to tell you what I've been up to. You don't really want to talk about the weather, and I don't want to talk about my house. Both of us are stuck thinking about what we _don't _want to discuss, while you're floating off somewhere, trying to figure out a way to vocalize what you actually came here to say."

Squall had pretty much hit the nail right on the head there.

The kettle began to squeal, causing the older man to stand up with a deep sigh and head over to take it off the burner. While his back was turn, Roxas finally figured he could sum up as much courage then as any other time and blurted, "I came to see if you knew where Riku went."

Squall had picked up the kettle, but placed it back down on a cool burner at the question. He turned his head slightly, his eyes hidden behind a curtain of silky chestnut hair. The ex headmaster kept perfectly still as he thought this over. He should have expected that, really.

"Why'd you come to me?" he finally mumbled as he picked up the boiling pot again and poured the tea into their mugs, which now steamed with the aroma of soothing herbs.

Roxas was glad that Squall wasn't one to reminisce. It had taken all his will power to convince Marluxia not to when he first started staying at his house. He was all business. No jokes. Roxas vainly tried to forget that at one time Squall had been a much more easy-going man.

"You held the records. You had to know where your students were going, or if they were dropping out. And to make sure they were returning to their families or finding a place to go or something… right?"

Squall gave Roxas a very dark look as he sat back down in his chair heavily. He didn't speak; he just glared into his cup for a moment, before adding a touch of sugar and sipping the scolding liquid. For something for his hands to do, Roxas attempted to sip at his own and gave a startled yelp to find it was much too hot to be drinkable. Squall gave a humorless chuckle. The silence echoed through the empty house, every small, awkward noise Roxas made as he waited for Squall to answer and busied himself with his tea magnified in the places where there should have been photographs, comfy chairs, paintings—a piano. Finally, when Roxas could feel his cheeks were burning red from embarrassment for having come at all, and from spilling his some of his tea in his lap and burning his lips twice Squall stood up and went over to the window.

"He was going to live with his aunt. I talked to her to confirm that it was valid. I don't really remember all that much, what with so much going on… but I remember it was a small group of islands. His aunt said he grew up there. I can't remember what it was called."

Roxas racked his brain. He'd organized everything he knew about the silver-haired boy away, but had never thrown it away. He remembered talking about their pasts… no, just Riku's. His lips had refused to move, locked shut from talking about the events before his arrival to the conservatory. Not even Riku had been able to open that door, not for a while, anyways. He remembered the islands. The play island Riku had talked about playing on with his friends. Briefly mentioning the main land where he went to school. But he remembered most of all the trees that grew the strange star shaped fruit that were said to make your destinies intertwined forever.

_"I'd like to take you there someday, Roxas . . . We could share one of those, while we watch the sunset. Share a destiny." _

Destiny.

"Destiny Islands," Roxas said in a monotone. Squall faced the young blonde and gave him a thoughtful look over. Roxas' eyes were vacant again, glassy and simply dim. He hated the heavy feeling that grew in his heart every time he thought of Riku, or his other friends for that matter. Squall gave a nod, and slowly Roxas slipped out of his haze. He blinked, glanced into his still rather full teacup and stood shakily.

"Thank you for the tea, Mr. Leonhart—"

"For _the sake of all that is good _do not call me _mister _anything. I'm not your headmaster anymore, Roxas. I'm just an old friend."

"S-sorry. Squall, then. Thanks for the tea, but I really shouldn't be keeping you."

"It's no big deal, really. In fact, it's probably good. Actually, I'm glad you came." And for the first time since the conservatory had started to crumble, Roxas saw Squall give a true, genuine smile. "You were one of the kids it broke my heart to see leave." He clapped Roxas on the shoulder enduringly, Roxas smiling his ghost of a smile and nodding.

"You probably want to find him as soon as possible, right?" Squall asked thoughtfully.

"Yeah."

" Well, tough luck. You're staying for dinner. But when you do go, you'll come back though, right?"

"If I'm welcome."

"Kid, if you weren't, I wouldn't have let you in."

Stomach full, eyes tired and head a bit more relieved than it had been in a long time, Roxas left 2345 Bastion Street with a wave of his hand back to its occupant. Both had their hearts lifted. They hadn't talked a lot about the way things were. Actually, they hadn't talked a lot period. Mostly they'd just enjoyed the company of someone they could call an old friend.

Roxas pulled his downy ski jacket closer to him, his face slightly hidden around the furry collar. It was certainly proving to be getting colder quicker. He made his way down the darkened street, following the light of street lamps as he planned his journey back home. A four-block walk to the train station, which was free, according to Squall, after nine, which it thankfully, was. He'd take a train back to Marluxia, and tomorrow he'd start finding a way to get to Riku's hometown.

So with his spirits high with hope and the long-forgotten feeling of true friendship resurfacing in his mind, Roxas did not noticed the lean figure that followed him all the way to the train station, stalking just a block behind.


	4. So Nice So Smart

**Author's Ramble: **Hey everyone! Thanks to all the people who have faved and put this story on their alerts. Really appreciate it. But if you guys could drop me just a few reviews, that'd be great. I'm finding that my brain's sort of fried. I've got exams for the next two weeks. The reviews help with the mental blockage. ; )

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts or mentioned characters, I also don't own the song Fire, by Kimya Dawson.

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_You swallow hard and you bottle it up_

_Try to pretend you're a half full cup_

_Believe what they're feeding, you're eating it up_

_While I'm reading books about how they're corrupt_

_I'm reading books about how they're corrupt . . ._

**- Fire, Kimya Dawson**

Five Years Ago

The concert hall that was now slowly being filled with students echoed the noisy chatter of the five hundred some pupils making way to start their year at Oldtown Conservatory. Roxas had already sat down in one of the old pews and waited with his head down for the assembly to begin. A part of him nagged to lift his eyes and look for the boy named Riku. After introducing themselves, Riku had gone on to explain that the classroom they were in belonged to Professor Strife, and he was rare to give anyone permission to play his precious grand piano.

"No one's allowed to play his baby," Riku had laughed good-naturedly, making his pale pink lips part in a sweet, smiling laugh and his pretty nose to crinkle. Not that Roxas noticed any of this of course. "But if he heard you sing like _that, _I'm sure he wouldn't mind." Despite the compliment, Roxas was embarrassed by being caught playing such a prized piano _on top _of singing alone. The sad boy tried to quickly forget the warm feeling that swelled up in his heart when Riku had told him his voice sounded so nice. Or that look he'd given him when he'd finished singing… The overwhelming feeling was tinged with a warning in the back of his head, and it sent a different kind of feeling rippling through his stomach. Fear. Fear of someone knowing who he was. He left Riku with a mumbled apology and no explanation. He hadn't looked back to see the silver haired boy with his eyes sad and his hand out stretched as if to say, _please don't leave. _The nervous blonde had retreated up to his room to lie on his bed and think about nothing till he fell asleep. The next two days he stayed shut up in his room, just as he planned at his arrival, leaving only form meals in the dining hall (and most of the time arriving just before the food was finished being served) and to use the bathroom. His roommate, Zexion, had gotten the drift and had left Roxas alone to his thoughts.

But now here was Roxas, thinking vainly of trying to spot a head of silver hair among the crowd of students filling in, despite the knowledge that he'd vowed to never get attached to someone like that again. Because there was no way he could look at Riku and not think about how _beautiful _he was. Therefore there was no way he could think of Riku _just being a friend. _Not to mention the last time he'd fallen for someone who was too attractive—

_STOP! _

Roxas thumped his head onto the row of pews in front of his and gripped at his spiky hair with trembling hands. Sometimes he had to get his thoughts to stop before it sent him somewhere terrible. He practiced his skill of thinking of nothing for a moment before a naughty voice in the back of his head nudged him to look around for Riku. After a brief mind wrestle, the voice in the back of his head won. Deciding it couldn't hurt to take a small look around, Roxas slowly brought his head up from where it had been resting on the hard wood of the pew. He glanced up at the empty stage of the concert hall that had once been used for worship. The place still had tall stain glassed windows. The hall was located to the south of the main building, in the same building as the dining hall. Both had once been places where worshipping services had been when the Conservatory was a church. His eyes traveled casually to his right. Sitting just a few feet down on the pew was the sweet blonde girl Roxas had seen playing the flute with her feet in the fountain three days ago. She wore a pretty strapless lavender dress today and held her flute case close to her chest. She was staring right at Roxas with curious doe eyes the color of a watery blue sky. Taken aback by her intense stare, Roxas gave a slight jump, sending him sliding off the pew seat slightly. Blushing in embarrassment he looked away quickly.

"Don't be embarrassed," she said in a soft, kind voice. "I was the one staring after all."

Roxas slowly turned back to her, his fingers nervously buried into his hair. "Would you like to sit with me?" she offered, loosening her grip on her flute to gesture to the space beside her petite frame. Roxas shrugged, hoping she didn't think it was weird he bit his lip and slid over slowly. "What year are you in?"

"Sophomore," he replied, albeit his eyes were still itching to find Riku and to ignore the girl beside him.

"Me too." She smiled brightly and pushed a strand of striking blonde hair out of her eyes. "My name's Naminé." She didn't say another word, simply looked forward at the stage and allowed Roxas to his thoughts. He skimmed the sea of students quickly, and found his mark. There was a shock of platinum hair at the back left of the auditorium, next to cinnamon spikes and light brown, straight locks. Roxas caught sight of his face once. He was laughing, smiling at one of his friends with a smoldering gaze.

It felt like Roxas' heart had just dropped into his stomach and was slowly dissolving.

"Oh. You've spotted Riku."

Roxas' eyes flickered back to the girl beside him, Naminé. She had followed his gaze to Riku in the back of the hall. "Yeah," Roxas admitted with a ginger smile, kept hidden from Naminé's view of course.

"He's a sweetheart."

"Have you met him?"

Naminé smiled a slightly mischievous smile. "If you want to quiz me, I have to know your name."

It was hard not to want to crack a smile in front of Naminé. It was just the way she made Roxas feel so welcomed and given space all at the same time. "I'm Roxas."

"That's a nice name. Now, what is it you want to know about the Platinum Junior?"

"What year…"

"I think I answered that."

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, he's best friends with two other sophomores named Sora and Kairi. It's sad, because everyone knows that he's madly in love with his best friend, but he never says anything. Does that give you a start?"

Roxas' heart resting in my stomach had suddenly just lodged itself up into his throat, threatening to suffocate him. Of course Riku would love that girl with the soft, light brown hair. What was he expecting?

"Oh."

"He doesn't have a clue though."

_Wait. He? _

Roxas strained his eyes over to the back of the auditorium again to stare at the trio hidden in the pews. Someone moved aside in the row in front of them and Roxas saw all three for the first time. In the middle was a small boy; the one Naminé said was named Sora, with the spiky cinnamon hair. He was laughing and had grabbed a hold of Riku's and the girl's arms and put them around his shoulders. The girl, Kairi, giggled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She leaned against the middle boy in such a way to suggest something more than friendship. Riku, on the other end was chuckling too and leaned against Sora's spiky hair fondly. They were all pressed together in a hug, Sora not seeing the look of longing in either of his companion's eyes.

Riku, feeling the sense of someone else's eyes on him besides Sora's, looked up instinctively, to see Roxas across the hall staring at him. He gave a small, lopsided smile and a nod of the head. Roxas felt his face flush as Kairi and Sora followed their friend's gaze to the front of the lecture hall. Roxas turned around and sat down properly at once.

Naminé was watching him with thoughtful eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but just then the stage was finally being filled with two rows of teachers. Roxas glanced them all over, noting how most didn't look at all like any teacher he was used to. Among them, he spotted the blonde man who had helped him on his first day at the Conservatory. He wore a navy blue turtleneck and different kind of smile than Roxas had ever seen on someone before.

At the end of the line of teachers was a man probably in his early thirties with chestnut hair that rested neatly on his shoulders. He had a very serious face, but it was contrasted with a smile towards the pews filled with students. As he faced the crowd, Roxas blinked, wondering if his eyes were playing tricks on him. But he took another look and saw a faint scar running across his features, marring his otherwise perfect disposition. Roxas' mind began to wonder as to how he'd gotten that scar when the man stepped up to the single microphone on the stage. It squealed with feedback until someone finally fiddled with the soundboard and allowed it to stop in time to save everyone's ears from bleeding.

Then the scarred teacher began to speak.

"Welcome, to those of us returning, and those of us coming back, to Oldtown's Conservatory of Music and the Arts. I am Professor Leonhart, your headmaster during your stay here at our school. For those new to the Conservatory, you will be meeting shortly with your homeroom teacher for a proper orientation and explanation of how your classes will be arranged. I will announce homerooms after a few important things to keep in mind during the year."

At this point, the headmaster took a deep breath. Roxas could see in his eyes he was not a huge public speaker. It was odd seeing such a young person as a headmaster. The blonde's old headmaster had been as shriveled and stale as an old prune, and the difference between her and this Professor Leonhart were startling.

"Unfortunately, we have to start with the main rules. If you want all the nitty-gritty details, your homeroom teacher will give you a _delightful _read filled with rules, punishments and restrictions. But as for the rest of us, please just keep the following in mind:

"There is a strict curfew during the school week. No student should be out of his or her dorm by nine o'clock. On weekends, the curfew is till eleven o'clock.

"There are to be no weapons, drugs, alcohol or tobacco on school grounds at any time. Violators will get what's coming to them."

Like the previous crack Professor Leonhart had made about the student handbook, the hall gave a convulsive chuckle that faded down quickly as he continued on.

"Students are expected to sleep within their own dorms, no one else's. If there is an issue with your current dorm, please speak to your homeroom teacher or me.

"Students are allowed to leave school grounds during free hours of the day. However, this is a _privilege _that can easily be revoked. Yes, I'm looking at you Tidus."

Everyone instantly followed their gaze to a sandy haired blond in the middle of the hall, his face slightly pink but his eyes shining with laughter as he laughed and waved at his headmaster. Everyone laughed again, until Professor Leonhart hushed them with a wave of his hand and went on once more.

"Please respect the grounds and gardens, meaning no running on flower beds or climbing trees. We've given up on keeping you all out of the fountain, but that does not mean you have the right to take a bath there."

Another wave of chuckles from five hundred pupils echoed throughout the auditorium.

"If at any time you have any questions, feel free to visit my office located next to the East Studio or speak with your homeroom teachers.

"We hope this year will be just as successful as last year in helping students perusing careers in the arts. Once again this year, we're offering to all seniors help in auditioning, testing, or applying for universities specializing in certain fields, such as Julliard. If you're interested in more information, please speak to your professor of the field you're interested in perusing. Now the teaching staff will introduce themselves and explain who's in their homerooms. All freshmen will remain here for their schedules and a full orientation. For the rest, I hope you all have a wonderful year at the Conservatory."

Everyone clapped as Professor Leonhart gave up the mike to the blonde man who had helped Roxas. "I'm Professor Strife, and if I could please have sophomores and juniors last names A through G in the West Studio located just before the stairs to the Sophomore Boy's Dorms."

People started to stand up and move out of the hall. Roxas slowly stood and turned towards the trickle heading out of the hall. He passed Naminé who gave a small wave of her hand and a sad smile. Looking forward, Roxas saw that a platinum head, quickly followed by another with brown spikes were heading towards Professor Strife's room as well.

Mentally, Roxas braced himself for what might be coming as he entered the studio. He told himself over and over again that he didn't need to get involved with people right now. That was the last thing he needed to do. Especially someone like Riku… He wandered silently over to the windows and sat down in one of the high backed chairs and concentrated on his toes. Not for the first time he asked himself what he was doing here.

The room was now filled with about twenty-five students, all chatting among themselves as they waited for Professor Strife to make his way in. Roxas closed his eyes, trying to block out the noise around him. Someone tapped on his shoulder and he jumped, cerulean eyes flying open in surprise. He looked up and saw a smirking Riku above him, his silver hair spilling over his shoulders and framing his pretty face.

"Taking a nap?" he asked, a teasing note in his smooth voice.

"I—I…" Roxas stuttered, then finally bit his cracked lip. Better to just admit defeat before words failed him. Riku laughed and in one fluid movement was slumped in a chair beside Roxas, his eyes half closed and his arms stretched out so he was almost touching Roxas' shoulder. The blonde instinctively flinched away, causing the silver haired boy to raise a quizzical eyebrow.

Just then, the other chair beside Riku was filled with an energetic brunette who had just bounded across the room and plopped down. He had a big, happy smile that was more enduring than Riku's alluring half-smile. It was the boy that Naminé had pointed out as Sora. "Riku, who's this? Have you been sneaking around meeting shady strangers again?"

Riku sat up, and the slight tightness to his face showed Roxas for the first time a touch of apprehension in the confident boy's expression. Sora obviously realized he had said the wrong thing and his bright smile flickered for a moment, before Riku turned back to Roxas, the apprehension now totally gone from his face. Instead, there was that charming smile that Roxas cursed and blessed for being so friendly and tempting. "Sorry about him," he apologized, waving a hand at Sora, who crossed his arms and stood up to stand between Roxas and Riku's chairs. "Roxas, this is Sora. He's like five energy drinks on steroids. So, naturally, he's your kind of person." Riku flashed Roxas a smile from underneath the shade of his long hair. It was a secret smile, hidden from everyone but Roxas, the receiver. For some reason, this seemed very significant to the hesitant singer. "Sora, this is Roxas. A man of few words."

_That's a way to put it nicely. _

Sora gave Roxas a smile and a slight wave of his hand. "Hiya Roxas! How do you know Riku?"

Roxas opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, closed it again and just settled for a shrug. Sora gave a puzzled stare until Riku swept in to the rescue. "We met a few days ago in a practice room." Roxas noted how Riku conveniently left out the detail that Roxas had played Professor Strife's piano, or that Riku had been listening to Roxas sing. "Roxas is going to be in your choir."

"Really?" Sora said. His expression was excited, welcoming, but Roxas could read the look in his eyes. He was curious as to how someone who could hardly say a word would ever be able to sing in front of anyone.

Thankfully, at that moment the door of the chorus studio opened again and in came the flaxen haired and charming Professor Strife. Roxas concluded that the choir director had to be only just out of his twenties, if even that. "Sorry about that," he called to the group. "Now, if everyone could please take a seat. I just need to distribute some papers you need to read and sign. I also have copies of your schedules if anyone needs one. At ten o'clock you all need to head to your first class. You'll only have fifteen minutes of each class today, as it's only a half-day. Tomorrow will be the real start of the year, and I hope those of you in my class are prepared."

Roxas felt his stomach do a flip. He hoped to God he didn't have to sing in front of the class as a class requirement. The homeroom began to move around, picking up papers and beginning to fill them out. A few wandered over to Professor Strife to ask a question about schedules or something else. Roxas grabbed his papers and flopped back into his chair, filling them out in his scribbled handwriting as quickly as possible. Riku took his papers and sat back down, while Sora seemed to wander about the room, talking to everyone. The blonde could see how Sora had the ability to befriend everyone.

_No wonder Riku likes him. _

"Hey."

Roxas gave a startled jump at Riku's voice. He'd been staring deeply into the wood of the floor, thinking of how different things could have been at his first day at this school. Riku's head was tilted to the side, his longer hair spilling over his shoulders as he stared at the nervous boy. "Hm?" Roxas managed to sound normal.

"There's a carnival in town this weekend. Sora's taking his girlfriend, Kairi, and there's a few other people going. But I usually hang out with those two, and lately I've been the odd man out. Want to come? We could ride the roller coaster till we throw up."

Roxas was pretty sure he was going to have a heart palpitation. He took a shaky breath and asked himself what he wanted. Not what he wanted right then (which was currently crawl into a hole and die), but what he wanted for the rest of his high school years. What he wanted after that. Did he want to look back on his experience here and only remember wanting to kill himself with a conductor's rod?

At least he would be able to remember Riku, even if in the end nothing else came of it but a polite, pity friendship.

"I-I'd like that."

"Wow."

"What?"

"Three words in one sitting. I'm getting somewhere."

Roxas gave a ghost of a smile and stood up as the clock ticked to the ten. He didn't say another word as he left, knowing that behind him Riku was smiling.


	5. Each Broken Heart Eventually Mends

**Author's Ramble:** Chapter five! I was in a bit of a Death Cab for Cutie mood... I also just got Narrow Stairs for my birthday, so I needed to listen to I Will Possess your Heart. It's suiting for this story, actually. Anyways, usual warnings apply, especially with this chapter. Roxas gets a little lonely... XP And thank you to all who have faved, alerted and the lone one who has been brave enough to review. Don't be shy to tell me what you think! I'm dying to know.  
Oh, and this one was sort of a birthday present to myself. So... HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME. XD

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts, The World Ends with You (Yeah, I sort of am making this a cross over...), the band Death Cab for Cutie or their songs I Will Possess your Heart and Someday You Will Be Loved.

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_**There are days when outside your window  
I see my reflection as I slowly pass,  
And I long for this mirrored perspective  
When we'll be lovers, lovers at last . . .**_

**- I Will Possess your Heart, Death Cab for Cutie**

* * *

Present

The next day, Roxas started his real work. He looked up Destiny Islands on the local library's computer. The Islands were about a hundred miles south of Oldtown, and ten miles out to sea. A little place away from the rest of the world. No wonder Riku had wanted to leave there so badly. With a population of only five hundred people, Riku must have been pulling the hair out of his head to get off that place.

Roxas blinked a few times, turning away from the computer screen. He'd been trying to find everything he could dig up about the islands for the past two hours. He hadn't gotten much, just a bunch of tourist offers mostly. But he had dug up a list of apartments that were leasing, plus the cost of getting out to the islands. Over all, it would cost 15,000 munny for Roxas to get there, get a ferry across to the island, rent an apartment and get some furniture. That was 15,000 munny he didn't have. Not to mention food. With a tired groan he rested his head on the keyboard and closed his eyes.

The person at the computer next to him stood up and bumped his rickety desk station as they hurried past. Roxas' eyes flew open and he sat up, realizing that he needed to get a move on finding some sort of job. As the man in a dark sweatshirt with the hood up retreated and the tired blonde looked after them, he noticed a crumpled piece of paper that must have fallen out of his pocket. Raising an eyebrow in curiosity, Roxas leaned over and picked up the flyer. Flattening it out, he read:

**Ready to make some NOISE?**

**The band NOISE is currently holding auditions for a new lead singer. Yes, that's right. It's your big chance to leach onto our awesome talent. We're that cool to let you common people have the chance at awesomeness. The person we find worthy will get a fair share of all munny earned at gigs.**

**Auditions are being held at 867 Traverse Street on the 19th, 20th, and 21st from one to four. No need to call or anything, just show up. But only show up if you have talent. _Please. _**

Roxas wasn't sure if he should laugh or not at the flyer in his hands. But he thought about how much munny one of those gigs could get him… it would get him closer to Riku too… wouldn't it? But what if they wanted a full-time lead singer?

_Who cares? _Roxas finally decided, his jaw set as he stood up and grabbed his backpack. _Today's the last day for auditions. If I don't go now, I'll never find out. Plus, this is what I promised I'd do. I'd get on with my life. _

He threw his backpack over his shoulder and headed down the stairs of the library. Before heading outside to his bike, he stopped and asked the librarian where Traverse Street was located. It was about a good two miles bike away, but Roxas had time. It was only noon. The blonde took a deep breath as he stepped out of the stuffy confines of the library and into the crisp fall afternoon. Roxas had biked three miles from Marluxia's apartment to there. The library was very close to the old conservatory in the downtown district. Roxas wondered if he should go back, but caught himself before he began to pedal in that direction after mounting his bike. There was nothing there, and he'd just be wasting more time. As the autumn wind picked up again, Roxas began biking towards the quaint shopping district, passing by the display windows showing cider and pumpkins to carve. He turned into the more suburban streets and was caught up in the beauty of the trees lining the road. Though a lot of trees were already stripped of their leaves, many still held bright colors of red, orange and yellow. He passed through the neighborhoods until he found the street he was looking for.

Traverse Street held two rows of older homes that all showed they needed a bit of renovation. They were small and squat and were set back far from the street. Roxas followed the rows until he ended up at the foot of a driveway of a house with yellow pastel siding (which was a pretty common house color in the area) and a front porch. Offset from the house was a pretty big garage that had its door open. A guitar and an array of electronic keyboards and computer equipment were set up inside, and two people who appeared to be in their mid-teens were sorting out wires and microphones.

That was when it struck Roxas that he was being pretty desperate to come to a garage band ensemble for a bit of munny. But he had to admit to himself it wasn't just the munny. It was a chance to sing again—to sing and be heard. The singer got off the bike he'd borrowed from Marluxia and walked it up the driveway. The two teens paused in their work to stare at him. The girl who was fiddling with the guitar had a large hat that covered most of her pink hair, though some of it poked out. She wore boots that reached past her knees, a mini skirt and a skimpy belly shirt. The boy who was plugging in a pair of headphones he wore over his spiky orange hair looked rather disinterested. But that could have just been his shirt that's collar covered a part of his face from view. After a moment, the girl smiled and stepped forward.

"Are you here for tryouts?" she asked, smiling widely and holding out her hand.

"He's half and hour early," came a flat remark from the orange haired boy.

"Neku, cut it out! We need people to tryout and you know it!" the girl shot at the boy named Neku who merely shrugged and continued to set up his equipment.

Turning back to Roxas, the girl smiled and offered her hand again. Roxas shook it with a weak smile. "I'm Shiki, and this is Neku. We're the two remaining members of NOISE. Have you heard of us?"

Roxas gave an embarrassed shrug and admitted, "Er… well actually, no. I mean, I saw your flyer, but I just came to town."

"Oh, a drifter?" Shiki said, giving a coy smile. "Where you from?"

"Twilighttown."

"Wow! You're pretty far from home! Oh, and I didn't catch your name."

"I'm Roxas… is it okay that I showed up early?" The blonde looked at Neku for this answer. He'd just finished setting up a computer and speakers. He nodded once and put his hands deep into his pockets. Roxas parked his bike against the garage and left his backpack near it. Shiki offered him a mike.

"How long have you been singing?" she asked, going over to her guitar and pulling the strap over her slim shoulder.

"Well… um… I haven't sang in a few years…"

Neku rolled his eyes at Shiki, who bit her lip nervously. "Why'd you suddenly think it was a good idea to start again?" he challenged as he stepped towards one of the keyboards.

Roxas' grip on his microphone tightened and his cerulean eyes narrowed at the younger teen. "Because I need to."

Shiki and Neku exchanged looks once more. Neku shrugged and Shiki smiled. "Want us to play something, or do you want to sing solo?" she asked, giving a supportive pat on her guitar.

Roxas racked his brain for something he could sing. "Well… what's your guys style?"

"Alternative punk… with synthesizers," Shiki said with a giggle. Neku glared. "We're looking for something a bit different. Something you don't hear everyday? Just give us what you got!"

Thinking once more, Roxas gave a nod. He knew something he might be able to dish out. Making sure the mike was on and telling Neku and Shiki that he didn't need them to play anything he took a deep breath and opened his mouth to sing for the first time in about five years.

_"I once knew a girl in the years of my youth_

_With eyes like the summer all beauty and truth_

_But In the morning I fled, left a note and it read_

_Someday you will be loved . . ."_

After Roxas finished the first part of the song, he took a deep breath and looked around. He'd been staring out the street while he sang. Shiki and Neku were silent, giving each other a staring contest. It would appear they were communicating through eyebrow movements.

Finally Neku turned to Roxas, his face giving nothing away.

"Our first gig's in a week. How quick can you learn four songs?"

* * *

Roxas returned to Marluxia's apartment tired and satisfied. It was about six o'clock and getting dark, and he'd been out all day. Marluxia was flopped on the couch, still in his clothes that were permanently stained with dirt from the botanical gardens. The pink haired gardener looked up from the TV show he'd been watching as Roxas walked in with a broad smile on his face.

"From the way you look your day's been rather successful," Marluxia noted blandly. He flicked the TV off and motioned for the younger boy to sit down beside him. "Happy hunting, I presume?"

"It's going to cost me 15,000 munny to get down to Destiny Islands and stay there long enough to find Riku and… well, god I don't know what I'm going to do when I find him but I don't really care! I just need to get there and I need to—"

"Whoa! Slow down!" Roxas had hopped onto the couch, his whole body shaking with excitement as he spoke. Marluxia put his hand on the blonde's shoulder and patted him lightly. "You're going to give yourself a heart attack. Since when did you get so excited? Ever?"

"I… I don't know!" Roxas said, jumping to his feet as he began to pace the flat's living room. He ran his hands through his messy hair as he spoke, azure eyes wild with a fire that hadn't been there in a long time. "I just… I'm going to be singing again. I got a job with a band and I'm going to be doing shows so I can find Riku and… I don't know… I just haven't felt like this in a _long time." _

Marluxia stared over his shoulder to watch Roxas pace, a smirk on his face. "Don't you get it, kid?"

"What?"

"You're alive again. Welcome back."

_Yeah, _Roxas thought with a laugh he let escape his lips. _I'm back._

* * *

That night, as Roxas lay in bed he let his eyes close and his mind wonder. The room was dark; aside from the light of a streetlamp that painted interact pictures of shadow on the wall. He wondered what it would be like to see Riku again. What would happen? He wandered into memories of broken curfews and forgotten rules. Of crinkled sheets and lazy Sundays.

What had happened to them?

Roxas felt his fingers slip down from where they'd been resting on his stomach as he stared at the ceiling, giving up on keeping his eyes closed. Those fingers were the physical embodiment of where his mind was going. From crinkled sheets and lazy Sundays, to what happened before those mornings. On those heated Saturday nights, no matter the weather outside Riku's dorm.

His hand was betraying him. He had pointedly erased those memories so he wouldn't have nights like this, lying in bed unable to stop himself. But his hand slipped past boxer elastic anyways.

And it felt good to pretend it was Riku. It felt good to pretend that he was lying in the silver haired teen's dorm room at midnight, cradled between his legs. Good to pretend Riku was breathing hot on his neck, excited and needy. Roxas arched his back, believing that it was all really happening again.

Eyes closed tightly once more, it was easy to pretend as he felt a warm, sticky substance signal the end of the fantasy.

When it was all over, Roxas didn't feel the same. He felt dirty for using his memories for sick nightly fantasy. After cleaning up the mess and crawling back into bed, he felt a few quiet tears slide down his face before he closed his eyes for the last time that night so he may finally fall asleep.

* * *

And as he did, one of the shadows on the wall shifted as the man standing outside the window began to walk away from his hiding spot in one of Marluxia's elegantly crafted bushes. As he neared the streetlamp, he took off the hood of his sweatshirt, the eerie golden glow illuminating chaotic flaming red hair.


	6. Within the Sound of Silence

**Author's Ramble: **Hey everybody! This is a _long _chapter. I just needed to fit in a lot more stuff than I thought. Sorry in advance for any mistakes. I really am a terrible author for not going through and editing these more. I just want your guys' feedback so much. XD Thanks to **fantacination **for all the lovely feedback.

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Standard disclaimers apply.

Pst... the song is actually from both Riku and Roxas' perspectives, today.

* * *

**A new road's waiting, you touched my life**

**Soft and warm on a summer's night**

**You're the only one, the only one I love**

**The lovely one, I'm thinking of . . .**

_- Feeling That Way, Journey_

* * *

Five Years Ago

Roxas was having a hard time concentrating.

Yesterday he'd been introduced to each of his classes and his professors. His teachers had given them a list of things that were expected of their students by the end of the first semester. Even though the school was a conservatory, the students still needed their core credits to pass. This meant Roxas was forced to sit through a full year of English, biology, history, and geometry. In English they were expected to read one novel from a list of classics and write a four-page essay on applying its lessons to the present. In Biology they were to have mid-term exams along with a research paper. History was promised to be a lecture-only class with papers and midterms as the only grades, and geometry would have tests every week and a half on materials learned up until the mid-term exam.

Professor Strife's class had been a different story.

When all the members of Roxas' choir had entered the room for their double-chorus class, they'd been told to stay standing. Roxas looked around curiously, finding that the room contained only about thirty individuals. As he'd been looking around, Roxas caught sight of Sora standing alone. He looked out of place not having someone to laugh and hang out with. But the moment Roxas set eyes on him Sora glanced his way and gave a big smile. The brunette made his way over to Roxas while Professor Strife started taking attendance.

"Hey," Sora said casually while Roxas struggled to find something to be interested besides his present company.

"Hey," Roxas finally mumbled, looking at Sora despite his urge to not make eye contact. The blonde chewed at his bottom lip nervously, even after he told himself that he should stop. Every time he chewed his lips now they started bleeding. No need to freak Sora out.

"Riku seems real excited that you're coming to the carnival with us," Sora replied to the weak greeting. His easy-going attitude made slipping into a conversation easier than Roxas had ever thought, even before he stopped talking regularly. Despite this, he couldn't get his mouth to work out the words to reply, so he just gave a nod.

"Sora Fanta?"

"Present!" Sora said too loudly with a big wave of his hand. Professor Strife raised an amused eyebrow as he continued down the list. The eager brunette turned back to Roxas and actually _giggled, _"Like the soda, y'know?"

Roxas couldn't stop the smile that slipped past his guard. Sora didn't know that he was actually silently laughing at Sora, and not with him.

"There you go! I knew you weren't as hard to crack as Riku was making you out to be," he laughed and gave a big pat on the blonde's back. Roxas started forward, flinching away from the rough touch. Sora pulled his hand back at once.

Thankfully Roxas' name was called out next.

"Roxas Gale?"

Roxas extended his hand high in the air. Professor Strife seemed to pause as he looked at the meek boy who quickly pulled his hand down to his side once he'd caught the teacher's attention. With an ill concealed smirk Roxas turned back to Sora and said quietly, "Like a storm, y'know?"

Sora gave him a hurt look at the obvious mocking tone in his voice. Roxas' eyes widened the moment the words were out of his lips. How could he possibly be mean to anyone who was just trying to be nice to him? Embarrassed, the blonde turned away hugging his arms around his skinny frame. Truth was, he was jealous of Sora. He let that sink in.

He was jealous of Sora.

Because Sora had lots of friends, could get along with anyone, had a nice girlfriend that he seemed to really like, but mostly because he had Riku.

He had more of Riku than he even knew.

"Everyone's accounted for," Professor Strife announced loudly soon after Roxas' blunder. "So." He held out his arms and let them fall to his sides. "Welcome to Chamber Choir." He stuck his hands in his pockets and sat down at the piano bench, leaning back against the piano fondly, not touching the keys. The blond instructor looked so calm and relaxed that Roxas assumed he'd taken this position many times.

The room stayed quiet as they watch the contemplative stare Professor Strife sent around the room, assessing the new members, remembering the old. Roxas felt like a used instrument, the buyer trying to decide if it was good enough for what he needed.

That wasn't too far off the mark.

"I know some of your vocal ranges," the vocal director finally sighed, putting his hands behind his head casually. "Only because you're seasoned singers. Others, I only know what your previous instructors have told me in their recommendations. However, you will all be required to have a fifteen-minute voice lesson with me so we can decide where you will be placed. This is a six parts, sometimes eight parts, chorus. That's bass, baritone, tenor, second tenor, alto, second alto, mezzo-soprano, and soprano. Second tenor and second alto will be chosen as needed." He gestured to a clipboard on the door of the studio. "Sign up for your fifteen minute slot. By next week Monday I expect you all to have been placed so we can get started for our fall concert in late October, then our winter concerts throughout December. We're going to be at a fast pace here, excluding today."

There were a few people who gave small laughs. They all seemed to be older members of the choir. They knew just how hard the class was going to be working for the next nine months. Roxas took a shaky breath, reminding himself of the bliss, as the choir became one collective voice, a swelling sound. He didn't notice his eyes were closed in his daydream until a gentle tug came on the sleeve of his grey sweater. His eyes flew open and he half turned to see Sora looking at him expectantly.

"Time to get to the next class," Sora said, not unkindly. Roxas glanced around to see that the room was almost empty. A blush crawled up his face as he realized he'd stood in the middle of the room with his eyes closed while people passed him. "What's your next hour?"

Roxas found his voice reluctantly. "Free period."

"Me and Riku have one too. Want to go get some drinks?"

Roxas had tagged along with the two friends. They'd been pleasant and respectful of Roxas' silence. Sora seemed to have forgotten totally about his remark earlier in the choir studio, making Roxas feel only guiltier. The short time wasn't enough for Roxas, not to see Riku's beautiful eyes and hear his laugh as Sora made jokes that Roxas didn't find funny.

So the day went on, and Roxas hadn't signed up for his voice lesson.

So now Roxas sat in his yellow dorm room, pretending to be reading the novel he'd picked out for English. There was so much he had to start doing now, or when the concerts started coming, he'd been in trouble. But instead of feeling overwhelmed by this prospect of so much intense work, Roxas couldn't concentrate on getting started on anything.

It was Friday, and Riku was going to swing by his dorm room to pick him up for the carnival. He hadn't seen Riku since dinner last night, and that was only fleetingly.

He'd decided to grab and pay for whatever food was closest to him before ducking out of the line. Riku had spotted him before he could get away cleanly though, and he watched from his peripheral as the silver haired junior attempted to get his attention and get past the line of students. Roxas' stomach had been clenched with worry. He wasn't in the mood to talk to Riku. He was positive he wouldn't be able to handle his smooth voice or scorching gaze. It'd been enough to be surrounded by so many people today. He was sure he was going to be sick soon, and there certainly was no way he could eat a meal.

He'd been disappointed to find that the staff wouldn't allow students to take food up to the dorms. Roxas thought of a moldy sandwich being found under a bed and decided that that was probably for the best. He avoided the long tables set up in the dining hall and turned towards the gardens instead. It was allowed to eat outside, thank goodness. At least then he wouldn't have to put on a show for Sora and Riku. They might have wanted him to meet the girl named Kairi, and he certainly was done with introductions for today.

The blonde meandered towards the side of the main building, towards the fountain he'd started to grow fond of. The area was empty, aside from one occupant.

Naminé sat with her feet in the fountain just as she had been when Roxas saw her on his first day. Instead of a flute poised at her lips, however, she was holding half a sandwich and a drawing pad. She took a bite every now and then while her cloudy blue eyes kept watch on the paper and her left hand, flowing elegantly as she drew.

Roxas stopped mid-step, wondering if he should turn around and find somewhere else to pretend to eat. But Naminé glanced up, swatting a bee away from her yellow hair. She caught sight of Roxas and gave a small wave, beckoning him over to the fountain. Her sweet smile through a mouthful of food was some how harder to ignore that Riku's mad rush.

The singer stumbled over and sat down beside Naminé, a bit away so as not to crowd her. She swallowed and set her sandwich down. "Good first day?" she asked pleasantly. Roxas couldn't help but watch her slender fingers as she drew a familiar set of spikes atop a round head. He felt a blush creep up around his neck and cheeks at recognizing the nervous eyes that seemed to be the centerpiece of this drawing.

"S'all right," he mumbled, looking away. Naminé stopped her work and looked at him with a caring smile on her lips. She didn't ask any more questions, which left Roxas with the comfortable sound of the gurgling fountain. He hadn't been hungry, but suddenly the egg salad sandwich he was holding looked pretty good.

Today he'd done everything to make sure he didn't have to talk to Riku and Sora. He wasn't quite sure why, until he realized during lunch that he was afraid they wouldn't show up to take him to the carnival, or revoke his invitation. Even now he wondered if Riku was going to come at all.

A sudden knock on the door made Roxas jolt from his thoughts and speculations. Zexion looked up from a large leather bound book he had sprawled on his black comforter. Iron-framed glasses adorned his face, making him look all the more cynical to Roxas. "Expecting company?" he asked, the surprise evident with his tone.

Roxas shrugged and closed his unread book, tossing it against the wall and letting it slide down behind the bed. Zexion pursed his lips and turned back to his work. With a slightly shaky hand Roxas opened the door.

Riku stood in all his glory at Roxas' doorstep. It took the younger boy a moment to remember how to breathe. Riku wore a black t-shirt and comfortable jeans with an aqua, white and yellow jacket overtop. It was simplistic and very accenting to the dazzling eyes that stared at Roxas with an amused smile. Roxas felt small and dull, looking down at his faded khakis and equally washed-out grey t-shirt. He held his jacket awkwardly, looking down at the red and white seams. "You're hard guy to find sometimes, Roxas," Riku commented cheerily and tugged the sophomore out the door. He popped his head in once to yell to Zexion, "Hey, Zex. Demyx is on the hunt to find you." Roxas saw just beyond the door the blue haired teen sit up quickly and take off his glasses.

Maybe he wasn't as much of a loner as Roxas had guessed.

Riku closed the door quickly and began walking down the hall to the stairs. "Busy first few days?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah," Roxas summoned up enough air to say the simple reply.

They began to descend down the stairs, Roxas fidgeting in the silence. He had expected it to be nice, but there was expectancy for Roxas to say something. Maybe it was just in his head.

"Um…" Roxas started as they came down the main hallway, past the choir room and other practice areas. The late afternoon sun was beginning to droop down towards the shore just a few streets down from the conservatory. The west facing rooms glowed with its slow descent.

"Yes?" Riku said patiently after a moment. Roxas hadn't been able to start his sentence, let alone finish it. Mentally slapping himself in the face, the blonde forced himself to continue.

"What's your… course that brought you to the, um, conservatory?"

If the silver haired teen had been surprised by Roxas' attempts at conversation, he didn't show it as they slipped out through the front doors of the main building. It was just a bit chilly outside, the faint hint of an early fall tinged the air. Roxas pulled on his coat, keeping his eyes either on his feet or straight in front of him.

"Theater, actually," Riku replied with ease. Roxas blinked, taken aback. He hadn't pictured Riku to be the type to want to stand out. Visibly, Roxas figured he stood out enough. Though, the blonde had to admit that he was some what biased. "I'm hoping to act in some movies, but I prefer live audiences. It's more of a challenge, you know? If you mess up, you have to find a way around the blunder and still make it look convincing." Roxas glanced up at Riku, aware of his slightly cocky smile. Obviously Riku had done just that and gotten through it flawlessly.

Just as they past the gate and began making their way down the sidewalk towards the town square, Roxas glanced back at the fountain on the side of the school. To his surprise, Naminé sat there watching him. She smiled at him, but Roxas caught a glimpse of her strange eyes and saw the sadness in them.

But he was too afraid and too greedy to ask Riku to invite her too.

* * *

The town square was aglow with paper lanterns and the lights from the carnival rides and games. Sora and Kairi were waiting for Riku and Roxas by the water gun game. Roxas was having a hard time concentrating on any one thing for very long. The miniature roller coaster containing a group of screaming kids sailed past. The Ferris Wheel spun lazily, couples looking out to the ocean with fingers intertwined. Younger couples sat at the games, the boys winning big stuffed animals for the girls. The girls squealing that it's just what they wanted. The little girl begging for cotton candy _and _fried dough with a prize animal under her arm. Finally the blond got his attention back to the small group before him. Kairi had invited her friend Selphie along. She looked like the odd-man-out, even though Sora had invited a boy named Tidus as well. Roxas remembered the name from the assembly. Kairi was holding a stuffed octopus with a pirate hat on its head, one of the tentacles wrapping around Sora's neck as if to tie them together.

"Hey guys, what took you so long?" Sora asked, punching Riku playfully in the arm. Riku laughed and smacked the back of Sora's head. The casual touch made Roxas flinch.

"Rigorous study schedules," Riku said dramatically. A smile toyed at Roxas' lips. He could suddenly see how Riku could take the stage so easily. "It took all my strength to drag Roxas from Zexion's evil educational clutches."

"Zexion's your roommate?" Selphie said, her eyes alight with sudden interest. Roxas was startled; he hadn't imagined Selphie being so eager about someone like him. Riku, Sora and Tidus groaned simultaneously.

"C'mon, let's get in line for the roller coaster," Kairi suggested and cut a look to Selphie that read clearly to drop it.

Riku kept alongside Roxas as they walked, but Selphie eagerly bounced to his side, her brown hair that flipped out unnaturally bouncing along with hers steps. "Zexion is a weird one, huh?" Selphie prompted, her eyes gauging Roxas for a reaction.

The blond felt that this was going someplace unpleasant. Reluctantly he answered quietly, "He's not that strange. Just very concentrated." Roxas could've sworn he saw a satisfied smirk come over Riku's face from the corner of his eye. Selphie, however, frowned.

"Well, that's what he likes people to _think," _she whispered, her expression lifting as she gave the scoop on the blue haired teen. "See, he's actually a really hard partier, and I hear that he's into _threesomes._"

Roxas' expression was probably what made Selphie keep speaking. It was horrified, but not for the reason that she thought. He was horrified that she thought it was all right to tell people things like this, true or not. "Yeah, his boyfriend's this Demyx kid who can totally rock out on the bass, but they do it with Professor Xigbar, the science teacher. No one can catch them, though. But I just _know it." _

"Selphie if you don't shut up right now, I'm going to tie you to the roller coaster tracks and run over you repeatedly."

Roxas stared at the back of Kairi's head. She hadn't even turned around to tell her friend off. Her voice dripped icicles. Selphie pouted, even though Roxas thought the more appropriate reaction to such a command was to whimper. "Excuse my completely immature friend," Kairi said, turning back to smile apologetically at Roxas. "It's a good thing she'll be able to get out this gossip thing with her journalism class. Too bad it hasn't gotten into full swing yet." Kairi gave Selphie a warning glance before wrapping her arm around Sora's waist as they gave their tickets to get on the coaster.

Roxas realized too late he hadn't bought any tickets. Riku coolly handed the operator enough tickets for the two of them. Roxas opened his mouth to protest, but Riku just gave him a look that melted his heart.

"Four to a car," the burly man grunted as the group of six started to squeeze into the small car.

"We'll take one of our own," Riku offered, glancing at Roxas with a slightly nervous smile. Wait, he was nervous? Roxas' heart fluttered. They were just going on a roller coaster, he reminded himself. It wasn't like they were going… He couldn't even finish that train of thought as he boarded the next cart with the silver haired teen.

As they took off after Sora and the others, Roxas made a vow to have a good time tonight. As they twisted and turned through the course, laughing and screaming appropriately, Roxas figured this wouldn't be too hard.

* * *

It was getting late now, and Roxas knew they'd be pushing their luck with the curfew for school. The others didn't seem to have a care in the world. The blond had to admit that it wasn't the first thing on his mind. Riku had been pretty solid with the promise of riding the roller coaster until they nearly hurled. Eventually they had all split up, Sora and Kairi wanting to play more games and watch the clowns. Selphie bullied Tidus into taking her to the fortuneteller and spinning cups. Riku took Roxas to the fun thrill rides until they couldn't walk without an intense feeling of vertigo. The young singer couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed so hard.

After a fun round of riding the swings, Riku sat Roxas down and came back with two sea salt ice creams. "Mmm. My favorite," Roxas sighed as he relaxed into the bench, licking away at the sweet-and-salty treat.

"Really?" Riku asked, sounding honestly interested. "I've always preferred pineapple toffees for a good sugar treat."

"But this stuff isn't just a sugar treat, it's a hybrid!" Roxas found himself laughing. "It's sweet, but salty. You get your fix of both!" Riku's eyes twinkled in the lamplight at the sound of Roxas' laugh. The younger boy became suddenly very conscious of this.

"Did you eat a lot of it back at…?" Riku's question trailed off, reminding Roxas how very little he knew about him.

"Twilighttown," Roxas replied easily, taking a nip of his treat. "Yeah, me and my friends used to eat it all the time at the clock tower. We knew a way to climb up without getting in trouble. We'd watch the sunset. They're known for their sunsets there." The words flowed out of him like water. He wasn't even aware of what he was saying.

"What were your friends like?" Riku had finished his ice cream and was watching Roxas with rapt attention. Roxas didn't notice while he gobbled away. He gave a slight snort of laughter at the memories coming back. They were actually good ones, funny ones.

"Oh, Hayner was always trying to prove something. He didn't like to loose against anybody. Olette was really sweet; she loved to have a good time. She was kinda a tomboy, so she hung out with me, Hayner and Pence. Pence couldn't stop eating, but he was always thinking of fun stuff to do while he ate. He wanted to come with me to the conservatory for photography but…"

The explanation left Roxas as he realized how close he was getting to the thing he wasn't allowed to remember. He just shrugged, trying to let it roll off of his shoulders instead of weighing down on him like it was threatening. Riku seemed to see the sophomore's sudden folding into himself. Slowly, he reached out and touched Roxas' hand. Roxas wanted to jerk away from the touch, but found that he couldn't. Riku held his hand, palm up with the care as if he were handling a baby bird.

"D'you miss them?"

Roxas chewed on his lip and breathed the word. "Yeah."

Roxas knew Riku wanted to know more, but the acting face was on the older teen. He gave an encouraging smile and wrapped his hand tighter around Roxas'. He pulled the blond to his feet once his ice cream was completely gone. "C'mon, let's ride the Ferris wheel."

Roxas' stomach dropped as he was led towards the ride. Riku still held onto his hand, guiding him and protecting him. He wished that it felt nicer that it did. He felt hollow. They got on, using the last of their tickets. The ride creaked as they slowly made their way up into the sky. The light shimmered bellow them and Roxas felt a rush of cold air come from the sea. He shivered, unconsciously moving closer to Riku. The silver haired teen glanced at him, and then slowly put an arm around his narrow shoulders.

Roxas flinched, and Riku instantly moved away.

"N-no," Roxas stuttered, unable to make any more noise than that. He wanted to feel Riku against him. The touch was a burning that left him breathless, but it reminded him of another burn, another scar from a fiery touch. Tears formed in his blue eyes before he could stop it. Great. He was stuck on a Ferris wheel with Riku, unable to escape from the powerful gaze of those aqua eyes.

"Roxas," Riku sighed softly, touching his hand as he had before. Brief, subtle, calming. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so… demanding. I don't really even know if this is a date."

At the word, Roxas felt like he was going to be sick. But he didn't _want _to be. He wanted to enjoy this. He wanted to let Riku be kind and sweet and kiss him on a Ferris wheel. His lips wouldn't work. He couldn't tell him this. Because he'd need to explain too much. Why had he even talked? He should be in his room, reading that book for English.

Riku was waiting for him to say something. He didn't. After another minute, Roxas began to relax, growing immune to the hand still gently holding his.

But his unspoken words had not been taken as a request to stop. In Roxas' silence, Riku hadn't quite sensed the urgency of Roxas' inner battle. Riku was suddenly very close to the blond. They had stopped at the very top of the wheel, and Riku was touching Roxas' face.

Roxas paled. He was going to be sick.

Riku's lips slowly moved towards Roxas' face. "I think you're wonderful, Roxas," he murmured sweetly, smiling nervously. He was trying really hard, and all Roxas wanted to do was be a thousand miles away. He couldn't do anything. He was frozen, just like the wheel as they rocked back and forth. Riku's lips were suddenly on his, brief and gentle. It felt _good. _But Roxas was sent back into the memory of another kiss.

_His hands were rough. His lips hungry, and Roxas didn't want them. He didn't want the bites to his lower lip; he didn't want the tongue forcing its way into his mouth. He didn't want those gloved hands removing his shirt, teasing his skin. He didn't want them touching him. He didn't want this. He didn't want this. He didn't want this._

"Roxas?" Riku's worried voice broke through the memory of that night.

Roxas gasped, covering his face with his hands. The tears were full on now, and he was shaking uncontrollably. He couldn't speak. He wanted to crawl away from this and die. So he wouldn't have to remember this anymore, so he wouldn't have to make Riku waste his time on a hopeless wreck.

Riku wrapped his arms around him, murmuring, "I'm sorry. Please! What's wrong? Roxas, please talk to me."

They were moving again. They were going to get off the ride. The car stopped on the landing, and Roxas was pushing Riku away, climbing out and running. He ran, unable to hear anything but the ringing of a cold voice in his ears. He couldn't hear Riku's shouts or feet running after him. Roxas ran until he got to the edge of the fairgrounds.

He stopped, took a deep breath and vomited into the bushes.

But still, he couldn't escape the sound of a cold voice telling him he wanted more as he ran back to the conservatory, tears blurring his vision.

_No, _he wanted to tell the voice that would never leave him. _No, Axel. I don't want any more._

* * *

**Opened my eyes to a new kind of way**

**All the good times that you saved**

**Are you feeling,**

**You feeling that way too**

**Or am I just,**

**Am I just a fool?**

- _Feeling That Way, Journey_


	7. Memory

**Author's Ramble:** I'm sorry that this has taken forever to update. I've just been a bit discouraged due to the lack of reviews . . . You guys have no idea how much I appriciate them. But! There is something exciting I have to say-- I've had a reader approach me and ask if she could illustrate/animate Now and Then. We've just been talking about it, but her request made me realize how long it's been since I've updated and inspired me to FINALLY do so. More info will be supplied about the illustrations and such as soon as I hear back from her.

Anyways, standard disclaimers and warnings apply. And-- **please review. I can't tell you how much it means to hear feedback. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

One day I'm gonna forget your name,

And one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain.

Fear is only in our minds, Taking over all the time.

Fear is only in our minds . . .

But it's taking over all the time.

- **Sweet Sacrifice, Evanescence**

**

* * *

  
**

Present

"Wow," Shiki sighed, flopping down on the old sofa that sat in the corner of the garage. A piece of stuffing fell out of one of the many holes as she sunk down onto the worn springs. Neku was fumbling with a few monitors and his keyboard. Roxas sat on the couch, reviewing the new song they were going to be playing tonight at one of the dance clubs in the downtown area. A space heater was the only thing that kept them from freezing their toes off. It was late November now, and snow was promised to fall in large amounts within the next few days. "We've gotten so many gigs since you joined, Roxas," Shiki said, but her voice sounded tired. They'd pretty much done at least two shows a week for the past four weeks. It was taking a toll on the two teens that still had to deal with their senior year, and Roxas was getting a little tired of the smoky, bass thudding scenes they continued to play. He'd always preferred singing more classical and folk than this new age stuff Neku and Shiki wrote.

But he got paid.

"Yeah," Roxas mumbled, tearing his eyes away from the piece of paper he hadn't even been reading anyways. In their last eight shows, Roxas had gotten almost enough munny for his trip to Destiny Islands, and he wanted to leave before the Winter Solstice. Partly, because he wanted to beat the holiday traffic, but if he was being fully honest, he wanted to show up on Riku's doorstep on Solstice Eve.

He didn't care if it was a bad idea. It was terribly romantic, and he couldn't stop thinking about it.

How he was going to tell Neku and Shiki was still a bit of a problem. They had assumed he'd be with them longer, and so had he. The blond hadn't once thought that it would be this easy to get all the munny he needed, but as it turned out they were getting tipped healthily at their gigs. Marluxia had mentioned that he could just leave, not have to deal with them and whatever crap they may give him, but Roxas couldn't bear the thought of leaving without a word. It brought him back to unpleasant memories, and he knew how it felt to be left high and dry, not knowing what you did wrong…

"Hey, which of you guys do the lyrics?" Roxas asked suddenly as he finally brought his blue eyes back to the words on the page. He couldn't believe he'd never thought to ask before. The lyrics to this particular song were one of Roxas' favorite to sing. A pang of guilt hit at the back of his mind for not having complimented it before.

Shiki's eyes were glued onto Neku, who slowly put his headphones on and tried to look as if he hadn't heard the question at all. "Neku writes all of our songs, music and lyrics," Shiki said simply, turning her gaze back to Roxas. "That's why we had issues with our last singer. Wanted to write the songs, but couldn't compose for crap, let alone punch out some decent lyrics. Neku doesn't like to admit it, but he's got enough talent to probably ditch the two of us and go solo." Shiki's laughter filled the room as she swung herself up and off of the couch. She had been plucking idly at her bass strings, but as she stood she tossed the instrument carefully back onto the dying sofa. Roxas loved the sound of her laugh. It reminded him a lot of Naminé's laugh.

Another attack to his heart hit the blond as he remembered the petit girl in her little white dress. He'd left Naminé without any promises of seeing her again, despite their friendship that had formed throughout that year. Naminé had been going back to Castle Oblivion, and she tried with all her heart to convince him to come with her. But the scar that Riku had left made Roxas only want to hide inside himself like he had after…

Roxas' mental gears stopped before he could think, but he forced himself to think the words. He'd promised to move on with his life. Acceptance was a necessary evil.

_After Axel._

Even just in his own mind, the name sent shivers down his spine.

"AH!"

The scream snapped both Roxas and Neku out of what they were doing. Roxas had closed his eyes in concentration, and had missed seeing Shiki stretch and glance out the garage window. Something had caught her eye and startled the poor girl to the point where she left out a piercing scream in place of her laugh and stumble back onto one of the amps. Roxas shot up and caught her before she fell into the mike. She'd bumped it anyways, and the feedback screeched in the speakers. Neku was immediately working to bring down the noise. Roxas was so confused with the chaos that had ensued Shiki's scream, he hadn't noticed the sounds of something running away from the garage.

It took a few minutes before Shiki had calmed down enough to explain what she'd seen. Neku moved the bass of the couch and sat her down. She was blubbering, her voice catching and hiccupping rather than her actually crying. Roxas hovered nearby awkwardly, not sure how he could comfort. Neku had her hand and was stroking it gently, trying to get her to be coherent as he asked her what she'd seen.

"It was _that guy, _Neku!" she finally stuttered out when she was able to control her hiccups. Neku's eyes narrowed and his hold on Shiki's hand tightened.

"What guy?" Roxas asked loudly. Despite the fact he'd really only known the two teenagers for a few months, he felt as if he should know about _this guy. _Especially if he was able to scare Shiki like.

"There's been a guy at the last few gigs," Neku answered quietly. "He always stands close enough to the stage where he's caught in the lights and hard to see. Shiki noticed him first, and pointed him out to me the last show… He's a creeper."

Unconsciously, Roxas started chewing at his bottom lip—an old nervous habit.

"He doesn't _move _the whole show," Shiki stuttered and hiccupped again. "He just stares at us."

"And he was outside the window?" Roxas voice was so quiet now Shiki and Neku had to strain to hear him. They glanced at each other as they picked up on the growing cold fear and panic that was bubbling up inside their blond singer.

"I swear he was," Shiki said. Her voice was stronger now as she stared intently at Roxas. There wasn't something right with him—he was shaking. "He had the same expression… plus it's hard to miss that hair. It's like a freakin' flaming porcupine on his head."

Roxas' knees were threatening to buckle. He felt the rice he'd eaten for lunch swimming sickeningly within his stomach and threatening to capsize out through his mouth. A cold sweat was breaking over his brow, and with supreme care he sunk down onto the couch next to Shiki. There wasn't a noise in the room besides the groan of the electric heater.

_So much for acceptance. _

"Did… you get a good look at his face?" Roxas whispered. The singer didn't even know it was he speaking. He felt detached, as if he was floating above the whole situation.

"Yes… It was him. He had a really angular face… and tattoos, raindrop tattoos. One under each eye. Roxas are you okay?"

The answer, though Roxas could hardly say it due to the fact he was now having a full blown panic attack on the couch next to Shiki, was no. He couldn't breathe, and all he could hear was that voice like a knife to him. That voice telling him over and over again to _enjoy it_.

Roxas didn't register Shiki and Neku both shifting to sit on either side of him and rub his back and hold his hand as he went through the attack. Shiki was crying now, silent tears going down her face (all traces of the hiccups gone), and Neku looked serious and sad. He knew what was happening to Roxas, even if he didn't know why.

Roxas finally slumped against Shiki's shoulders, the panicked, dry sobs choking his throat still. Finally all that was left of his attack was the quiver of his narrow shoulders. Shiki hugged him tightly, afraid that he was going to start up again.

"Who is he Roxas?"

It was Neku who finally voiced it, after what seemed to be centuries of only Roxas' dry sobs and cries of a pain that neither of the other two band members could see. The orange haired teen's voice was strong, and filled with authority. Roxas could tell he meant to do something about this, and it ate at him more than if Neku had told him he as a wreck and kicked him out of the garage.

The last person who stood up to Axel had been killed.

There was no way Roxas was going to let that happen again.

"I… can't stay here," Roxas whispered. He pulled away from Shiki, despite her soft cry as he pushed her away. His eyes were vacant, and it was clear he had no plans on showing more emotion. He stood up straight and told Neku in a firm voice, "I… know you two will hate me for it, but… I never planned to stay long. I was going to leave anyways. I just needed some money, and I thought you kids would be suckers enough to pay me. But this guy… you don't want to deal with him. I'm doing you a favor if I never see you two again."

He didn't look Neku in the eye.

"You don't mean that!" Shiki shouted, jumping to her feet. She reached out to grab at Roxas' sleeve. He pushed her away, hard. Shiki stumbled back into her bass, shocked at the force the gentle Roxas had used against her, but that didn't stop her from shouting on, "You're our friend Roxas! Tell us who he is! He obviously hurt you, and we want to help!"

"_I don't need help from some mediocre teenagers who think they have talent." _The words cut through the air like a knife. Shiki froze, amazed at the venom with which they were spoken with. He'd looked straight up into Neku's eyes, his own cerulean pair burning with a fiery rage the teenager could explain.

Neither Shiki nor Neku tried to stop Roxas as he bolted from the garage. He didn't let them see the fear that twisted his insides as he left.

He was afraid to step outside.

* * *

The door swung open, and Leon found a shaking Roxas standing on his doorstep. It was dark outside, and there was no sign of Roxas having used a cab to get across town to Leon's place on Bastion Street. At a second glance, Leon saw that he was holding a suitcase and had a backpack slung over one of his shoulders.

Before the burnet could ask what the hell the younger man was doing there, Roxas whispered desperately, "I think I've been followed here. Just let me in and close the blinds and I'll explain everything."

Without a word, Leon did what he was told.

* * *

"What do you think he wants from you Roxas?"

They were sitting down in the living room, both cradling hot cups of tea to keep warm. His angry landlord, Cid, had turned off Leon's heat because he hadn't made his payment on time for October. The old man had threatened to keep it off until after Solstice, but Leon knew it would come back on in a day or two. But in the interim, he and his guest were forced to wrap up in the few throw blankets he had.

Roxas stared deeply into his cup of tea as if he could find the answers there. He'd told Leon everything, not that Leon needed to know much more than it was Axel. Leon knew enough about Axel from experience, not that either of them was going to bring that up. Roxas and Leon were treading in dangerous waters as it was. Neither liked to drag up memories, especially concerning the final weeks at the conservatory.

"Do I really need to answer that?" Roxas finally answered after a stretch of silence. He gave Leon a sharp look from beneath his bangs, and Leon just sighed.

"No, I suppose not," he admitted, taking a deep drink from his mug. "So what did Marluxia think when you just started packing up to leave?"

"I just told him I wanted to get out before Shiki and Neku got a hold of me. I didn't tell him about… the rest."

"He never did get the whole story when—" Leon's words died in his throat as he realized what he was about to say. It felt as if the burnet's airway had been blocked and he cleared his throat, looking away in shame. He had no right to start blubbering in front of Roxas when the blond had been able to get a hold of himself after finding out someone was stalking him. Leon would only be crying over dead memories. No sense in that.

"I know. I figured he didn't need to know," Roxas said. He cast Leon a sympathetic look and reached out to tentatively touch his arm. "I'm sorry I had to tell you, actually. I just didn't know where to go when they told me that the train to Radiant Garden didn't leave until the morning."

"Roxas, you know I'd have wanted to know anyways. If that bastard gets near you…"

Roxas clutched tightly to his teacup and let his eyes stare into its depths once more. Leon could see the blond man fold into himself with that simple movement. He didn't finish that sentence, and decided instead to move onto more practical matters.

With a cough, the scarred man asked, "So you have enough munny to get there, then?"

"I'll have enough to get me to Radiant Garden and catch a ferry out to Destiny Islands, and probably stay someplace for a while. Please don't worry about that. I don't want you to waste your munny on me."

"Like I have any one else to spend it on."

It was a slightly uncomfortable silence with that.

"Roxas… I want you to know… it was never your fault, what happened…"

"Please, don't talk about that. P-please, Leon."

"But you have to know—"

Roxas stood up quickly, his hands shaking. The blanket fell off his shoulders and his eyes were looking anywhere besides Leon's face. "Anything you say doesn't change what happened," he choked out. The blond was gripping his mug so tightly it was a wonder the thing didn't shatter in his hands. "I… think I should get to sleep." Roxas turned away to put his teacup in the kitchen sink, and Leon slowly got to his feet and followed.

At the sink, Leon gently put his hand on Roxas' shoulder. The blond stiffened for just a moment before turning slowly to face his old headmaster. Leon was painfully reminded of a face that was not unlike the tired one staring at him now. But it was Roxas, no one else. "Listen," Leon said with a sigh. He reached up and rubbed the scar that ran its way down his face. Roxas' eyes caught sight of it and he flinched involuntarily. Another bad memory. "I want you to find Riku. It's not fair that you didn't end up… at least remotely happy after everything. But, in saying that I also want you to know that I was not impressed with what Riku did to you."

"I already told you he wanted me to come with him."

"I know, I know. But that doesn't change the fact he never looked for your Roxas. It doesn't change the fact he didn't wait for you."

Roxas' heart was beating very fast, and his eyes spoke the words he was unable to form. _Why are you telling me this? _

"My point is Roxas… is that I don't know if finding him after so long is going to make you happy. Just be careful. I'm not the only one who has hard times remembering the past."

Roxas' hard expression melted after a moment and his stance relaxed. He looked upon his old friend with tired eyes. "I just have to try," he admitted with a feeble laugh.

"I know."

* * *

About four blocks away from Bastion Street, the Oldtown train station sat in silence. The next train didn't arrive until eight o'clock in the morning. But the lone patron sitting on one of the outdoor benches in the frosty November air didn't seem to care. He sat with a black trench coat draping over his thin and angular frame, black leather gloves covering his hands. His face, however, was completely exposed to the night air.

Axel didn't seem to mind the cold bite to his face. He checked his watch again.

Roxas would be getting on a train tomorrow to find that silver haired freak.

"This time, I'm going to be the one who's protecting you Roxas," he whispered, his voice echoing against the old-fashioned train station he sat in the shadow of. Its colonial architecture loomed over him, the rounded lines and faded white paint cast in shadows from the few flickering lamps.

"Even if you don't listen to me. You'll see. You'll see…"

Axel ran a hand through his red hair, a razor smile quirked on his lips.


End file.
